


John Watson's Life is All Good For The Blog

by kyaticlikestea



Series: John Watson's Blog [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Blog, Crack, Humor, Humour, John's blog, M/M, anthea - Freeform, blog entry, crack!fic, it's all good, mystrade, not anthea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-06-23
Packaged: 2017-11-08 08:38:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyaticlikestea/pseuds/kyaticlikestea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fic in the style of John Watson's blog. Part 12 of a series. Can be read as a standalone but reading the others will give some context!</p><p>In which Lestrade gets pre-wedding insanity and purchases a rabbit. Mycroft Sr meets Mycroft Jr, complete with litter tray, and Sherlock and John talk about fingers with a practical demonstration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	John Watson's Life is All Good For The Blog

**June 25 th, 2015**

**A Few Points of Clarity**

 

Right, this is just going to be a short entry because I’ve been getting some weird messages on here and it’s making it hard to sleep at night without a bucket by my bed. There seems to be a set of misconceptions going around the webosphere and I’d like to clear some things up.

 

Firstly, Sherlock and I are not ‘gay civil partners’, as one message claimed. We are neither gay nor civil to each other most of the time. If he ever proposes to me (he’s already announced that any proposal I make would be too boring to accept) then maybe we’ll follow Mycroft and Lestrade’s example and tie the knot, but until then, we are decidedly not married.

 

Secondly, Sherlock is not going to be Mycroft’s best man, and he’s definitely not going to be Lestrade’s. If any of you read what happened at their engagement party, I think it’s evident that this is a wise choice. Stop e-mailing Sherlock with advice on what to say in his best man’s speech. I think it’s making him come out in hives.

 

Thirdly, yes, Sherlock and I do still take cases on a freelance basis. Anyone with any queries should contact Sherlock here and stop filling my comment sections with requests that I have to delete. Thanks!

 

**75 comments**

Webosphere? It’s blogosphere mate! See that didn’t even come up as a mistake in spell-checker or anything! lol oh and when do you want to meet up to talk about best man stuff?

**Bill Murray, June 25 th, 13:56**

Hmm, looks like I’m a bit behind on all this web-speak. My blog still gets more hits than yours, though! Haha. Erm, I’m free this weekend, I think. Saturday? 8ish?

**John Watson, June 25 th, 14:09**

I got 13 hits last night mate on my post about British helmets post 1945 actually so you can shove it lol, and yeah that’s fine!

**Bill Murray, June 25 th, 14:15**

You’re going out this weekend? How dull. I had hoped you might stay in.

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 14:23**

Sherlock, I’ve stayed in every night for about two weeks! We live together. If you want something, stop sulking in your room and come and ask me. Look, I’m sorry about the fingers.

**John Watson, June 25 th, 14:31**

Does anyone else find some of these comments hilarious out of context?

**Anderson, June 25 th, 14:34**

Back with Scotland Yard’s resident basset hound I see, Sally. Tut tut. Your fling with Duncan from press relations showed signs that your taste in men was improving.

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 14:40**

Don’t take your man troubles out on me, Freak. What’s all this about fingers?

**Anderson, June 25 th, 14:43**

I am going to have to seriously consider disabling comments on this bloody blog. And fingers, Sally, should not be used as Christmas tree decorations. Am I right? Especially in June.

**John Watson, June 25 th, 14:50**

It was an experiment!

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 14:52**

What useful data could you possibly have gained from chopping down one of Mrs Hudson’s rose bushes, rigging fingers into rudimentary lightbulbs and placing the horrible makeshift nightmare on my bed? Really, Sherlock?

**John Watson, June 25 th, 14:59**

Does anyone here know what rabbits eat? I have tried feeding the little bastard everything in the house but he won’t eat any of it

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 15:06**

Since when did you have a rabbit, Greg? Is it for your kids?

**John Watson, June 25 th, 15:11**

Hell no, it’s a vicious little bugger, wouldn’t let it near anyone under the age of 35! It’s a bit embarrassing really. Let’s just say that they shouldn’t let you into pet shops when you’re drunk and your fiancé has been away for a week

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 15:16**

Mycroft only went away 3 days ago.

**John Watson, June 25 th, 15:19**

Yes, well, absence makes time pass more slowly than wading through shit, and all that

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 15:24**

Look, I got lonely and I got a rabbit, OK? No big deal

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 15:27**

Oh, we’ve all been there, right girls?

**Sally Donovan, June 25 th, 15:29**

definitely not! when i am lonely i cuddle with mr cuddles xxx

**Molly Hooper, June 25 th, 15:31**

I did a quick Google. Rabbit nuggets, Greg. It’s not rocket science.

**John Watson, June 25 th, 15:34**

Right. Thanks. Pet shop it is, then

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 15:40**

What did you name the fluffy little bugger, boss?

**Sally Donovan, June 25 th, 15:42**

Oh is that the time I must be off to get nuggets

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 15:44**

Greg? What’s its name? Can we expect Holmes-Lestrade Christmas cards this year from Gregory, Mycroft and Snuffles?

**John Watson, June 25 th, 15:50**

Don’t laugh

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 15:52**

I won’t.

**John Watson, June 25 th, 15:56**

I will.

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 15:57**

I might.

**Sally Donovan, June 25 th, 15:58**

The cards will be from Gregory and Mycroft2

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 16:01**

??????!!!!!!

**John Watson, June 25 th, 16:03**

Oh, this is precious.

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 16:04**

oh thats so sweet xx

**Molly Hooper, June 25 th, 16:07**

OK. This is fine. It’s OK. My almost brother-in-law has a rabbit named after him. I can deal with this.

**John Watson, June 25 th, 16:11**

I can’t deal with this.

**John Watson, June 25 th, 16:29**

Allow me to assist.

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 17:01**

okk shrlk i forgiv you for the finngnngers ooohf ingers

**John Watson, June 25 th, 17:23**

Oh dear. I leave the country for three days and, although the economy remains relatively stable, no major political figure has been assassinated and the expenses scandal hasn’t reared its ugly head again, my name becomes sullied by a Lagomorph.

**Mycroft Holmes, June 25 th, 18:09**

DON’T COME HOME, THERE’S POO IN THE BED

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 18:15**

Alas, I am still otherwise occupied in Germany. Otherwise, I would be delighted to meet the acquaintance of young Mycroft II.

**Mycroft Holmes, June 25 th, 18:19**

Actually, he’s just Mycroft. I’m thinking of making you Mycroft II

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 18:22**

Really? Hmm.

**Mycroft Holmes, June 25 th, 18:26**

He gives better hugs

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 18:28**

More hairy, though

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 18:30**

Sir, I’m afraid I do not know how to cook a rabbit pie, even in the style of Nigella Lawson. May I recommend Chinese tonight?

**Anthea?, June 25 th, 18:32**

YOU ARE NOT PUTTING MYCROFT IN A PIE

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 18:35**

I don’t know. My boss is a child, his fiancé is rabbitphobic and I work with a guy who plugs fingers into the mains. They didn’t teach us this in training.

**Anderson, June 25 th, 18:37**

Shhh, Sally, Mycroft can hear you

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 18:40**

Are you drunk? Insane?

**Sally Donovan, June 25 th, 18:42**

No, your boss

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 18:45**

Sorry boss

**Sally Donovan, June 25 th, 18:48**

That was Anderson

**Sally Donovan, June 25 th, 18:50**

Sir, I must insist; sending in highly trained assassins to kidnap a rabbit is not an acceptable use of public funds.

**Anthea?, June 25 th, 18:51**

I’m sending a large Battenberg to your hotel room, sir.

**Anthea?, June 25 th, 18:54**

battenberg, rabbits, weddings, this blog used to be so normal lol

**Harry Watson, June 25 th, 18:57**

yes i miss those days when it was about sherlock’s deductions!!

**theimprobableone, June 25 th, 19:01**

go away creep we’d all rather read about bunnies lol

**Harry Watson, June 25 th, 19:04**

We really wouldn’t.

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 19:06**

Faeces everywhere

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:08**

Mycroft’s, not mine!!

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:09**

And not that Mycroft!!!!

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:10**

I can just see this causing some national disaster: ‘How’s Mycroft, Gregory?’ ‘Oh, he’s fine. He’s nearly litter trained.’ ‘… call off the invasion of Greece. And change the carpet in Holmes’ office.’

**John Watson, June 25 th, 19:14**

I’m getting married in two weeks. Maybe Mycroft can be bridesmaid

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:16**

I look forward to seeing myself in a dress.

**Mycroft Holmes, June 25 th, 19:20**

You’re not furious, then?

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:22**

Keep the blighter away from my suits, umbrellas and general person and I think I shall learn to cope.

**Mycroft Holmes, June 25 th, 19:24**

I have told Mycroft that his namesake is a kind and noble man

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:26**

I think he shed a silent tear

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:27**

He is such a gentle creature

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:28**

I think I’m suffering from pre-wedding hysteria

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:29**

Send sex and a hot bath

**Lestrade, June 25 th, 19:30**

And a new censorship law, preferably.

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 19:31**

I am sending you a fiancé, Mr Lestrade. ETA 2 hours. I have been told to assure that Mycroft Senior has no intentions of eating the pageboy-to-be.

**Anthea?, June 25 th, 19:34**

Do you think things will become more normal once they’re married?

**John Watson, June 25 th, 19:37**

Not a hope in Hell or Heaven.

**Sherlock Holmes, June 25 th, 19:38**

Good. All good for the blog.

**John Watson, June 25 th, 19:42**

**Comments are no longer accepted on this post.**

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for the idea of someone buying a rabbit in a moment of madness goes to Esme, my university homegirl and fellow fanfic-er. Her username is LadyLilyMalfoy and you can currently find her on fanfiction.net while she waits for her account to be activated here!
> 
> http://www.fanfiction.net/u/904034/LadyLilyMalfoy


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